"Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?"
This topic has been on my mind a lot lately, mostly because it's something I'm going through and I would love to be transparent and open about. The topic on singleness.
I log onto facebook, instagram and twitter and see beautiful pictures of brides and weddings and feel myself getting jealous instead happy.
"Why isn't that me?" "Am I doing something wrong?" "I thought he would be here already..."
Being a girl, we grow up dreaming of our wedding and picture our husband riding in on a white horse sweeping us of our feet, but what if this all doesn't happen in the time you thought it would? Are you going to be ok with that?
Growing up, I had a timeline that I would graduate college with my family and husband by my side. I'm graduating college next semester and I'm seeing that MY vision might not happen the way I wanted it to. For a good while I was freaking out. What am I going to do? I had no back up plan, I was counting on him being here so we can start our lives.
1.) Can anyone see a repeating word in all of this? "I".
2.) Can anyone see another thing wrong? Waiting to start you life.
I realized that I was wanting/expecting something at a certain time and I voided out the thought that God might have wanted something else for me.
1.) Praying about it made me realize that God has plans for me during this time of singleness. What they exactly are, I still am not sure but I know He does know and I trust him with that. (Its easier said then done.) During this time though, I found myself trying to make the time go by faster by consuming my time in things that will keep me busy, but because now, I will realize I have to consume my time and life to the Lord until he's ready for my husband and I to meet. So I'm putting the "I" away and placing it with "God."
2.) Another thing I realized about this is that I found myself putting things off until I meet my husband, because once you meet your husband THEN you can start living your life right? NO, NOT RIGHT. There is not a better time to do something then right now. Go for it, you'll be so glad you did.
In my case, I can apply that to me contemplating if I should go to gradute/law school. But one thing was holding me back, I don't want to go to school because I want to be a wife and stay at home mom. But I realized, I will get that chance when God allows me to have it but for right now, when I'm single, why should I not go for it?
But in the mean time, I will be happy in my state of singleness and be consumed by the love God gives me daily. Living for him is the best thing you can do, be focused on him and he will provide everything else. He has the perfect timing, better then our own.
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♡Gabriella June
