The "Why" Question

A struggle I face every day is trying to not get angry at God. I don't want to be angry at him but sometimes I let my brain wonder and question things that I know I may never get an answer to. I know that I have to be ok with not knowing the answer, but I'm still at the point where I'm not.

Thoughts rush through my head, "Where was God? Why didn't he help Lauren? Why didn't he allow her to go a different way on her run?" but to those responses I say, "But I know there is sin in this world. I know Satan is in this world and if this world was perfect it would be called heaven, but it's not."
Then the circle continues.

How am I supposed to pray to a God for protection when I don't feel like he would protect me. But isn't this when faith comes in?
Satan wants us to go through all of these questions. He wants evil to take over and for us to lose faith in God. I will tell you now, I'm not going to let Satan win. Even though I struggle with all of these thoughts and constant questions, I know that at the end of the day whatever happens, good or bad, God will turn any situation to good and use it for the glory of his kingdom.
How can I be so upset when I see how many people have been effected by Lauren's life? How can I possibly be angry at God for that? When I see people who didn't even know Lauren be so touched by her life and her faith in God. There is no explanation for that except that God turned this tragedy to glorify his kingdom.

Satan will continually try to ruin our lives in any way he could. He will try to deter us and have us question God, but who are we to question God? Shouldn't we have such strong faith and trust in him and know that no matter what happens that he is going to protect us eternally and allow us to enter the kingdom of heaven if we live our lives for him. Satan is a good talker and he knows exactly how to get us. He knows our weakness and our struggles. I was not ready to face any of these struggles I'm facing right now. But my God is a strong God and he has been my strength and that's how I know that he is real and loves us. Even in the midst of my anger, I somehow still had peace, I still knew everything was going to be ok. God definitely gave me something I was not ready to handle, and through that he has showed me that I may not be able to handle everything, but he is. And that's all the more reason why I need HIS strength. Because I am weak but he is strong.

Yes, I will still have these constant back and forth struggles in my head but as much as I don't like these struggles, I'm kinda thankful for them because these struggles are what's making me trust in him even more.

It's a confusing mess I know.
But if you're dealing with not only grief but any form of questioning God and wondering the "why" question, STOP. Instead, switch it around and remember that evil is not from God. Ask God to be your strength when you feel like giving up and show people God's strength. That will be an eye opener to so many and kick Satan in the booty!